Are you dragging your past into your future? Are you allowing unhelpful thoughts, memories and patterns of behaviour to occupy your mind now, today? Are you dwelling on the past rather than enjoying your now and focusing on the future?
Nature knows it’s time to let things go. As we watch the leaves drifting to the ground, flowers giving up their petals and plants dying back, winter settling in then we can follow suit.
The Kitchen Sink
We talk about midlife crisis and hormones yet I wonder how much of it is all the things we don’t need that have accumulated over the years. All the memories, thoughts,beliefs, experiences, habits that no longer serve us. As we drag round more and more things we no longer need our load becomes heavier and heavier to bear. We literally feel weighed down. The proverbial kitchen sink comes to mind. We know we don’t need these things yet we still nurture them, reflect on them, analyse them, dwell on them running them over and over in our minds.
Sounding familiar?
Same Old Song
Dwelling on things that have already happened back in the past keeps us stuck in the past. It keeps us playing the same old tune, stuck in a loop, that vicious cycle and wondering why nothing changes. The more we dwell on things the more we imprint the memory, the more it seems to carve it’s self into our minds. When I am helping clients towards achieving their goals we don’t talk about the past instead we focus on the future and how they will feel and what they’ll be doing, seeing and hearing.
The past is in the past. Yesterday has gone and so has the ability to change anything about it. So, let it go!
Let Go of the Memories that are Hindering You
- If it is not a helpful memory – let it drift away.
- Tell your mind you no longer need this on speed dial and it can be archived for good.
- Visualise yourself letting it go – perhaps it’ll fly away, drift off with the dandelion seeds or float away with a balloon.
- Make it a very small black and white picture in your mind’s eye and then just let it fade or disappear.
- Imagine yourself cutting the ties and letting it turn to dust and blow away on the winds of time.
Let the Go of the Habits that no Longer Serve You
Instead create a new more helpful habit, a more helpful way of responding, of being, of doing.
- Let the old well-trodden pathway become derelict and overgrown by no longer following that habit and telling yourself you no longer need that habit.
- Create that new pathway, that new habit for your mind to follow. Imagine yourself with that new habit. Feel it, sense it, practice it in your mind’s eye and feel how it good it is.
- Practice that new habit consciously until it becomes an automatic response. It may take a few days or a few weeks. The more you practice it the stronger that habit will grow.
Free Yourself Up by Lightening the Load
If the solution focused approach to being the best that you can be appeals to you please get in touch for a no obligation chat. You’ll be glad you did!
I’m the worst at this. But you gave me some good advice on how to change the way I deal with a problem at work and I’m implementing at the moment. Fingers crossed that we’re moving forward to new and more pleasant ways of communication
I am glad my advice was useful Rachel. A different perspective and a desire to find an easier way and you’ll move forward easily.
I like the visual of the dandelion seeds floating away.. ✨ very helpful
Thank you. I really love that image – it feels so light and easy to just let go.
Another thought provoking blog Clare! Thank you! I’m a big Disney fan so the words Let It Go immediately conjure up Frozen which to me is about letting go of anxiety and fear of the negative feelings of others, being free to be oneself but those words will now have an added meaning. Letting go of the negative feelings within ourself that hold us back. 😊
That’s such an inspiring way to think about Frozen and let it go. Thank you for sharing that perspective Joy I think others will find that useful too!
Wow that thought provoking blog really hit the spot and exposed old wounds that never seem to heal properly.
HI Dawn, I am glad it was thought provoking for you yet sad it has exposed those old wounds. We can heal those wounds by choosing to let them go. There are lots of ways to do this and I’ve suggested some in the blog. We all have things in our lives we would rather not have experienced and wish had not happened but we can’t always control what happens to us, to those we love or to the world around us. We can choose at the time how to react and we can choose to keep those memories on replay. The more we focus on something, the more we replay it round and round in our minds over the years the more established it becomes in our minds. It’s like that memory oxygen when we recall it, mull it over or share it with someone. To starve it of oxygen let it go, stop yourself when it comes to mind and focus on something else. When working with a client who had experience something quite traumatic I remember them mentioning in passing that it rarely came to mind these days, that it felt more distant. We had not worked on this – it was simply a by product of focusing on what’s good in the here and now. I hope that helps your confidence grow that you can let those old wounds heal and fade.
Fantastic blog. Thank you
My pleasure Claire, I hope it was helpful and insightful. Thank you for taking the time to read and to comment.