We all know the feeling that we must make the right decision don’t we?
And naturally we want to make “right” decision and dread making the “wrong” decision. We may worry that we’ll choose badly or worry what others think. Sometimes we feel overwhelmed with the constant need to choose, to make decisions for ourselves, our businesses and for others. Sometimes we literally ‘stick a pin” in it or defer the decision or ask someone else and then fret afterwards. Sometimes we seem unable to decide and struggle with indecision and dithering.
Scientists estimate that each of us makes 35,000 decisions on average every day. That’s a lot of decisions even though some of them are semi-conscious so no wonder we can find ourselves overwhelmed or even experiencing decision fatigue! It’s a constant theme across my clients. It’s rarely the primary reason people come to see me yet it’s often mentioned as something else that is a problem for them in their initial consultation and is often cited as something that has improved and become easier after a few sessions.
So how do we make decision making difficult for ourselves and how can we make those decisions easier and more intuitive?
Making Decisions Difficult for Ourselves
Obviously we don’t consciously decide to make life difficult for ourselves. It’s simple a pattern or habit we’ve learnt and we mostly unaware that we are doing this to ourselves. So here are a few ways we make decision making hard for ourselves:
- Overthinking a Decision – letting it go round and round in our thoughts till we simply tie ourselves up in knots
- Data Overload – gathering so much data from others and the internet that it’s simply too much to process
- Making a Drama of It – most decisions aren’t life changing or life threatening. Mostly they are simple things which film to watch, what to choose for dessert, which nail varnish etc
- Panic – we put off deciding and procrastinate and then find ourselves making a decision under time pressure at the ‘last minute’
- Involve Others – asking opinions, ‘testing the water’, seeking approval or worrying about what others think we ‘should’ do.
- Negative Self-Talk – telling ourselves we can’t make decisions, that decisions are hard, that we make ‘bad’ decisions
Making Decisions More Easily
We want to be able to make decisions easily without any effort. We want to be able to trust our judgement and trust our intuition and we here are something we can do to help us to do that:
- Accept You Have Already Decided – we are hardwired to make instant choices and decisions. Primitive man had to decide instantly if someone was friend or foe. We have often already decided but rather than acknowledge that we ignore our intuition and start to think about the decisions and what others will think and what the right thing is and the pros and cons and then we don’t realise we’ve already chosen. So pause and smile and check in with yourself – you probably have already made that decision,
- Relax and Do Something You Enjoy – when I find myself trying to decide something I know I am consciously starting to overthink the choices so I go and do something that makes me happy. Often just popping the kettle on to make a cup of tea and I realise that I already have the answer. Sometimes it’s time to read a chapter of my book or put on my happy playlist or watch a favourite programme and whilst I relax I simply realise I know what I want to do
- Sleep on It – it’s that old adage but it works. I was deciding to spend a largish sum of money so I did a bit of research and looked at the product and then told myself I’d know in the morning and got on with enjoying my day. Next morning I woke up knowing what to do.
- Get Up and Move – our mind likes it when things are in motion. It enjoys the momentum and the level of trance we achieve when walking, running, swimming, driving, gazing out of the train window at the world moving by. You can probably think of all sorts of solutions and ideas when you’re on the move. Got a decision to make – then get up and move.
- Wait – occasionally the best decision is to wait until the answer comes to us. The more we push ourselves to choose the harder it becomes as we are putting ourselves under pressure. We rarely have to make an important decision at a seconds notice so ask your subconscious mind to work on it and it will do that quietly in the background of your thoughts so you can simply get on with being happy, calm, relaxed and enjoying life.
Making Your Mind Up can be Easy
Simply trust that you’ll make the best decision for you with the resources and knowledge your have at that point in time.
Use the tips on how to make decisions more easily or get in touch to find out how I’ll help you find an easier way to make those choices and be the person that you want to be. As one client wrote “ I am generally more relaxed, decisive and better at coping in difficult situations- to name just a few amazing things that I took away from my sessions with Clare.” Wouldn’t that be a great position to be in?
Maybe you’d like to think in a different way which helps you like I this client discovered:- “Clare helps you think more rationally which enables you to make better choices and look at situations differently that may have stressed you out or made you panic previously.”